Acceptance, The Sequel: "Santosha"

For the past two weeks or so our meditation practice has centred around Acceptance. Acceptance of whatever happens around us - which is always and constantly subject to change, whether we like it or not.

Each time I sat, I felt I could delve slightly deeper. So, as I practiced and read – and the questions and answers during meditation classes sparked all sorts of inspiration - I moved from acceptance to a sense of contentment. It is known as Santosha in Yoga (Sanskrit for Contentment). In Zen it is referred to as Santutthi or Santuññhi – translated from Pali, it means Satisfaction. Contentment and Satisfaction feels to me slightly different, it feels slightly ‘more’ than accepting.

It came out during meditation classes that we all noticed acceptance and contentment could mean different things on different days, or different things to different people, depending on the situation faced with. Therefore, it was interesting for me to learn that Santosha (contentment) as a Niyama in Patanjali's Yoga Sutra is recognised at various levels.

[Niyama literally means 'positive duties' or 'observances' and forms part of the ethical rules in Yoga as written in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra texts.]

Contentment can be seen as intent, an inner state or an outer state (expression). As intent, Santosha is doing one's best and accepting the results of one's efforts. As an inner state, it is contentment that combines with other virtues (Asteya (non-coveting, non-stealing), Aparigraha (non-hoarding, non-possessiveness) and Daya (compassion for others) As an outward expression, Santosha is observed as serenity, of being “totally satisfied, not desiring anything other than the fundamental.”

In Zen or Mindfulness practice, contentment "is the habit of being happy, content in the present moment regardless of your state of being.” (I found it so interesting to read in various texts that happiness is regarded as a habit.)

Patanjali Yoga Sutra describes contentment in almost the same way, but refers to contentment despite the environment, rather than being content despite your state of being: Patanjali defines contentment as “contentment, acceptance of others, acceptance of one's circumstances as they are in order to get past or change them, optimism for self; a joyful and satisfied mind, regardless of one's environment,”

Most definitions of contenment include words that sound like they sort of mean the same thing. Satisfaction, fulfilment; cheerfulness, gratification, or ease, comfort, restfulness, well-being, peace, equanimity, serenity, tranquillity. But those words doesn’t fully explain the concept of Santosha. Santosha is not feeling satisfied or fulfilled or cheerful because we have everything we want. Santosha is feeling content because you recognise that everything you have is already enough. We feel Santosha because we have everything we need.

It’s the experience of “nothing is lacking”, regardless of our external situation. It is not believing in the feeling that something is missing or constantly seeing happiness over there, or thinking that, once you get that body or that car... It’s understanding the grass is not greener on the other side. It means dropping the urge to constantly fix and fill. In meditation we practice Santosha by sitting with whatever is coming up in the moment, feeling content with that – or at least being able to face it with some equanimity - whatever comes up in our sitting.

Santosha is also feeling content in the moment because we have an understanding that “this moment presents perfectly all that is.” I remember one of my teachers said to me once, when I expressed my disappointment about not being able to go on retreat: “It is just as it is meant to be” , which effectively means the same thing.

I know, it probably sounds like one of those annoying Zen clichés that people use like"this too shall pass." The concept of accepting the moment is actually pretty important and will change the way you see things once you really get it. Realizing that this moment IS like this, this is reality, it can't be any other way. And because this moment IS this, it’s pointless fighting it. It doesn't mean you have to be a doormat or fatalistic or not make changes. It means learning to release your mind from constantly wanting your current reality or situation to be different to what it is. If you do that, you'll find more ease. You'll find you feel softer and less tense. Our biggest problems come from the fact that we want this moment to be something other than what it is. So just for the moment, see if you can let go of being at war with reality. If you can do that, you will find yourself able to think more clearly and be much more effective in making decisions or changes.

Santosha is not only being able to accept circumstances we find ourself in, without being upset if they are not what we want it to be, it extents to accepting oneself, in all our beautiful, messy glory, just as we are. And accepting others, also in their messy human-ness. If we find ourselves in a difficult situation: understanding with equanimity that the people we are interacting with are balancing their own needs, just as we do, as they share what they have with us.

In Zen teachings we learn that “Contentment is your highest wealth” meaning it is more valuable that any possession or any skill. If we are content, we don’t need to get anything, go anywhere, or be anything to be happy because we already are.

What helps me enormously to generate contentment and practice acceptance more easily is the practice of Gratitude. Gratitude is a corner stone of Acceptance and Contentment. Looking around at our perfectly imperfect life, and not only being ok with it as it is, but finding all those small (and big) things that we can be grateful for, generates a wonderful feeling of contentment.

Years ago, a wonderful Buddhist teacher started a meditation class I attended with some words on gratitude.

He said we should contemplate and feel grateful for being able to attend the class, and feel healthy enough to attend. Gratitude for our families who generously allow us the space and time away from them to attend. And if we live alone, having no family to consider, we should be grateful that we were able to get to the class through the help of friends or a lift. And if we feel we arrived at the class completely through our own efforts, driving our own car, then we should feel grateful for the roads, which were good and safe enough to travel on. We could feel gratitude for the people who worked hard at making the roads. And for the people who came together to make the car. And the job we have that affords us the luxury of a car. Anyway, you get the picture.

In Buddhism, it is taught that gratitude should be cultivated as a habit not dependent on conditions.

This means that you should be grateful not just because you've got what you want or you had good fortune, rather, you should be mindful and aware of every little thing happening in your life and practice gratitude accordingly.

Very similar to Acceptance. But maybe easier to start with :)

_/\_