From Within to Without - Connecting with the World Beyond Ourselves

(Notes from Mindfulness Week #4)

Today, I’d like to explore a side of meditation that’s often overlooked.

Many people start their practice with the goal of developing self-awareness. This is an important and valuable place to begin, but it's also where a lot of practitioners remain—sometimes for a long time.

The challenge here is that if we focus too much on ourselves, we can unintentionally reinforce the ego. Instead of loosening our attachment to the self, we might become more wrapped up in our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Rather than diminishing the ego, we can end up strengthening it—the exact opposite of what we often hope to achieve through meditation.

Mindfulness meditation is about more than turning inward. It’s also about how we connect with others and the world around us. This is where the real transformation begins—when meditation moves from being focused solely on ourselves to becoming an outward practice. By cultivating empathy, we start to let go of the ego and build a deeper connection with the people in our lives.

A key part of making this shift is developing compassion. In Buddhist teachings, this is called bodhicitta, the awakening of the heart and mind for the benefit of all beings, not just ourselves. Someone who aspires to enlightenment for the sake of all beings is known as a bodhisattva.

In this sense, meditation becomes an act of empathy—a heart practice—where we open ourselves up to the experiences of others and recognize that their happiness and well-being are as important as our own. When we remember this, it helps us understand that those who cause suffering are often suffering themselves.

Compassion, guided by bodhicitta, teaches us that the peace we find in meditation should flow outwards, influencing our relationships and interactions with the world. True mindfulness means being present not just with ourselves but with others as well. As we sit in meditation, we can widen our awareness, noticing how our thoughts, emotions, and actions affect the people around us.

Take this morning's sitting, for instance. Perhaps the practice this morning means you will approach certain people with a different mind now. Creating and causing different actions and reactions. (which is what karma is - but more about that next week)

So, as we begin today’s practice, I encourage you to approach your meditation with the understanding that it’s not just for your personal development. This is a practice that’s also meant to enrich your relationships and interactions with others. As you settle into stillness, consider how your breath connects you not only to yourself but also to the wider world. Let your awareness soften and expand, embracing both yourself and everything around you.

In Buddhism, there’s a practice known as metta (loving-kindness) that offers a simple way to cultivate this outward focus. One commonly used phrase in metta practice is:"May all beings be happy.May all beings be safe. May all beings be healthy. May all beings live with ease."

This phrase expresses a heartfelt wish for the well-being of all beings, encouraging us to extend our compassion beyond ourselves to include everyone. Practising metta (lovingkindness) fosters kindness, compassion, and a sense of connection with others.

In this morning's sitting we used the phrase: "May all beings be happy." This is usually quite easy when we bring to mind people we love or care about, but not so easy when that someone is a person we don't like so much.

If you find yourself in a place of having to interact with difficult people, the practice allows us to make space for kindness. Allow compassion to soften any barriers.

When you start this practice in a formal sitting practice environment, often return to the breath. Notice how your body feels when you do this practice — pehaps more tense for moment, and then perhaps more relaxed, more open. Perhaps with each breath, feel yourself becoming more at ease.

And then - in the meditation - return to or consider the phrase: "May all beings be free from suffering." Let this intention resonate within you, filling you with compassion.

Note that came up: Practicing lovingkindness doesn't necessarily mean you have to love the person. It means taking a moment to reflect on the interconnectedness of all beings. And remembering that, just as you seek happiness, so do others. And generate compassion. Breathe in this connection and compassion. And feel that sense of compassion for others. And the space it creates for you.

Have a happy week