Problems are a matter of perspective.

First of all, may I say that usually, when I look at a problem I am having, it disappears quite quickly when I stop taking myself too seriously. A sense of humour is often helpful.

So, with those words in mind, Sadhguru starts off one of his talks with a joke about two boys, twins. One boy has a very pessimistic nature – there is always a problem - and his brother is super optimistic – always happy and dancing around. So much so that their father wanted to temper the optimist and take the pessimist out of his misery. For their 14th birthday the father decided to set up the bedroom of the pessimistic boy, filling it with all the toys and gadgets any 14 year old could only dream of. And in the optimistic boy's bedroom he put a huge pile of horse dung.

He said to the boys: "Your presents are in your room, please go." He was curious to see what would happen. After half an hour he put his ear to the pessimistic boy’s door – he was crying. The father opened the door and asked what was the matter. The boy cried and said the instructions are crazy, some toys had no battery and all his friends would want to play with the toys and would break them.

Then the father went to the optimistic boy and heard him singing and dancing in his room. He opened the door and said: "What are you dancing about you foolish boy?" The boy laughed and said: "Father, if there is a pile of horse dung, then there must be a pony nearby." This story illustrates how problems can often be a matter of perspective.

Quite few years ago I read a post written by Luna Kadampa - a Buddhist monk living in the USA who writes a blog on life from a Buddhist perspective. He also talks about problems being a matter of perspective. From time to time all of us are faced with a problem. Whether it's car trouble, work related, relationship trouble, money issues, ageing or health. If we look at a problem, we will see there are usually two things going on: the external part and the internal part of the problem.

If someone said “I don't like you, you’re not important to me”, that could be hurtful if it's someone we love. There is the outer thing presenting itself as the words being said. The other bit, the internal thing, is the actual problem. How do we respond to this? With un-wished for emotions like: sadness, anger, perhaps fear.

The two parts are not the same. If those words came from a person was someone we really dislike or from someone like a celebrity stalker, to hear those words could be even quite relief.

Usually we can solve the external part of our problems quite easily – we can take our car in for a service or take medicine. But the internal part of the problem isn’t always so easy to fix – usually because we fall into believing that things outside ourselves are the cause of our problems and therefore our unhappiness.

To find a more stable sense of happiness we need a solid understanding that how we feel is not subject to what is happening around us. We all say happiness comes from within, that’s why it has become a cliché, but we don’t really believe it or trust it when things go pear shaped.

Zen teachings say: "The Great Way (meaning happiness and ease) is not difficult for those who have no preferences. The moment the smallest distinction is made, heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.” That's another way of saying how, as human beings we are very binary. We like to take positions: good / bad, male / female, I like it / I don’t like it: all these opposites. The moment we work with opposites, we cause our self a problem. In meditation we work with "not one, not two", meaning not dualistic, no opposites, no preferences.

Having no preferences might, at first, seem an impossible thing to achieve. This is why we sit with no attachment to one thing or another. So that in our everyday lives we can meet the world without preferences. With a mind with no opposites – a flexible, radically open mind.

You might be mistaken into believing this to be a passive stance, but actually it is a very sophisticated way of looking at the cause of our problems. When the mind exists undisturbed in this way, nothing in the world can offend, and when a thing can no longer offend, it ceases to exist in the old way.

To finish off, there is a well known zen parable which explains the concept of no preference, no opposites, no dualism, or "not good, not bad":

There once was an old Zen farmer who had a horse to help work his fields. But one day, the horse ran away. All the villagers came by and said, “We're so sorry to hear this. This is such bad luck.” But the farmer said: “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?” The villagers were confused by his response, but said nothing.

A few weeks later the farmer saw his horse come back, but the horse was not alone. The horse came back with 10 other, wild horses. So now the farmer had 11 horses. All the villagers came by to congratulate the farmer and said, “Wow! This is such good luck!” But the farmer said “Good luck. Bad luck. Who knows?"

A few weeks later, the farmer's son came to help his father work on the farm. While trying to tame one of the horses, the farmer’s son fell and broke his leg.The villagers came by to commiserate and said, “How awful. This is such bad luck.” The farmer said “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?”

A month later, the farmer’s son still wasn’t able to walk or help his father around the farm. A regiment of the army came marching through town, conscripting every able-bodied young man to join them. When the regiment came to the farmer’s house and saw the young boy's broken leg, they marched past and left him where he lay. Of course, all the villagers came by and said, “Amazing! This is such good luck. You're so fortunate.” You can imagine what the farmer said …

Bad luck good luck, who knows? Not one, not two.